(a Greek phalanx preparing for combat during the Bronze Age)
(source: WikiMedia Commons)
The ultimate sibling rivalry has been raging for thousands of years between the
Greek Gods Hades and his younger brother Zeus. The two were constantly going
against one another, challenging the other's claim on ruling Earth's mortals. Hades began devising a plan to overtake the Greek peninsula by backing the most dangerous group of soldiers among all the
city-states, Sparta.
The Spartans were from the western region of Greece located on the banks of the Eurotas River in Laconia. The Spartans were renowned for their warrior culture and deadliest army of the Bronze Age. Hades came to Prometheus, the Spartan King, during one of his dreams, explaining to him the glory that would be his if he did as he was commanded and took his forces to conquer Greece.
Just as the God Hades commanded, Prometheus took his Spartan forces , eventually burning Athens to the ground completely. Upon seeing this destruction consuming the Greeks and learning it was due to the actions of his older brother, Zeus took it upon himself to stop this Spartan conquest. Zeus began considering the major nations and their individual heroes.
Zeus turned to his fellow God Apollo, requesting his aid in garnering the support of the Trojans, who were devout followers of Apollo. The Trojans called the city of Troy home, which was located across the Aegean Sea on the banks of Asia Minor. Apollo agreed to help Zeus, hoping to Hades overtaking the other Gods.
Apollo chose to visit Earth directly to speak with the great Trojan warrior Prince Hector, hoping to convince him of the importance of war against the Spartans. At first Hector did not see a reason to enter into the conflict overtaking lands across the Aegean Sea from his homeland of Troy. However, Apollo was able to show him the inevitable future invasion the Spartans would launch against Troy after conquering their own neighbors. Hearing this reasoning Hector agreed to lead his Trojan troops to meet the Spartans on the field of battle. Having secured a major military force to go against the Spartans, Zeus knew there was still something missing from putting his force on equal ground with the Spartans. He needed to secure the services of the world's greatest warrior, Achilles.
Acquiring the services of Achilles and his mercenary army would be no easy task to complete, even for a God. Achilles was a man who would not simply be swayed by duty or even the promises of gold. Rather he preferred the possibility of becoming an immortal himself in the history books as an unstoppable force on the battlefield. Zeus came down from Mount Olympus to seek the services of Achilles, an event that had not occurred since the days of Hercules. This meeting with Zeus startled and shocked Achilles, who never expected to meet him until the day he died. Zeus began to explain the coming war between the men of Sparta and Troy, of the glory that could be had in this conflict. Imagining the possibility of his name going down forever swayed Achilles to Zeus's cause and he agreed to join the conflict.
Prometheus's scouts began reporting the news back to their leader: the nation of Troy beginning the preparation for war and Achilles joining their forces to end the Spartan advance. Hearing this news, he became concerned in the abilities of his own nation to win this conflict on their own, calling upon Hades to give them strength and power to overcome Zeus's forces. Hades surprisingly denied him this request, explaining the glory would only be his if he could finish the conquest alone.
Wishing to avoid useless loss of life by civilians and the scorching of precious land Zeus reached out to his older brother, wishing to have he war waged between their two forces on an island in the South Aegean Sea, Santorini.
The two armies arrived on the island a few months later, understanding that only one of their forces would be leaving the island. The first evening camped on the island the leaders of the two armies came together on neutral ground to discuss the rules of warfare, agreeing that the battle would be fought to the end, with no survivors from the losing force being allowed to leave the island alive. The battle began with an eagle soaring overhead, followed by thousands of arrows being unleashed from both forces as the armies moved forward. The battle waged for hours, with no force noticeably holding the upper hand, while the Gods Hades and Zeus watched together from a mountaintop overlooking the conflict. Thousands of men were battling below, battling one another for what they believed was right. Just after midday was when the Trojan Prince Hector fell in combat to the spear of a Spartan hoplite. Seeing their leader fall in combat encouraged the Trojans to reorganize under the command of Achilles who was still leading the attack. The battle continued for several hours more with only a few hundred soldiers remaining on either side as they both pushed forward.
At this point the two Gods overlooking the battle realized neither would truly be victorious this day and that they had simply both sacrificed thousands of men for no true cause. Hades saw no issue with this occurring, while Zeus on the other hand vowed to prevent such a senseless war from occurring again under his leadership. By the end of the day both Achilles and Prometheus had perished on the field of battle, with only a few dozen remaining alive. There was no true winner this day, only losers, and one God with a new resolution to protect those on Earth more than ever before. Zeus struck his brother down and trapped him in the depths of the Underworld, himself returning to Mount Olympus to overlook humanity and prevent such a conflict from occurring again.
The Spartans were from the western region of Greece located on the banks of the Eurotas River in Laconia. The Spartans were renowned for their warrior culture and deadliest army of the Bronze Age. Hades came to Prometheus, the Spartan King, during one of his dreams, explaining to him the glory that would be his if he did as he was commanded and took his forces to conquer Greece.
Just as the God Hades commanded, Prometheus took his Spartan forces , eventually burning Athens to the ground completely. Upon seeing this destruction consuming the Greeks and learning it was due to the actions of his older brother, Zeus took it upon himself to stop this Spartan conquest. Zeus began considering the major nations and their individual heroes.
Zeus turned to his fellow God Apollo, requesting his aid in garnering the support of the Trojans, who were devout followers of Apollo. The Trojans called the city of Troy home, which was located across the Aegean Sea on the banks of Asia Minor. Apollo agreed to help Zeus, hoping to Hades overtaking the other Gods.
Apollo chose to visit Earth directly to speak with the great Trojan warrior Prince Hector, hoping to convince him of the importance of war against the Spartans. At first Hector did not see a reason to enter into the conflict overtaking lands across the Aegean Sea from his homeland of Troy. However, Apollo was able to show him the inevitable future invasion the Spartans would launch against Troy after conquering their own neighbors. Hearing this reasoning Hector agreed to lead his Trojan troops to meet the Spartans on the field of battle. Having secured a major military force to go against the Spartans, Zeus knew there was still something missing from putting his force on equal ground with the Spartans. He needed to secure the services of the world's greatest warrior, Achilles.
Acquiring the services of Achilles and his mercenary army would be no easy task to complete, even for a God. Achilles was a man who would not simply be swayed by duty or even the promises of gold. Rather he preferred the possibility of becoming an immortal himself in the history books as an unstoppable force on the battlefield. Zeus came down from Mount Olympus to seek the services of Achilles, an event that had not occurred since the days of Hercules. This meeting with Zeus startled and shocked Achilles, who never expected to meet him until the day he died. Zeus began to explain the coming war between the men of Sparta and Troy, of the glory that could be had in this conflict. Imagining the possibility of his name going down forever swayed Achilles to Zeus's cause and he agreed to join the conflict.
Prometheus's scouts began reporting the news back to their leader: the nation of Troy beginning the preparation for war and Achilles joining their forces to end the Spartan advance. Hearing this news, he became concerned in the abilities of his own nation to win this conflict on their own, calling upon Hades to give them strength and power to overcome Zeus's forces. Hades surprisingly denied him this request, explaining the glory would only be his if he could finish the conquest alone.
Wishing to avoid useless loss of life by civilians and the scorching of precious land Zeus reached out to his older brother, wishing to have he war waged between their two forces on an island in the South Aegean Sea, Santorini.
The two armies arrived on the island a few months later, understanding that only one of their forces would be leaving the island. The first evening camped on the island the leaders of the two armies came together on neutral ground to discuss the rules of warfare, agreeing that the battle would be fought to the end, with no survivors from the losing force being allowed to leave the island alive. The battle began with an eagle soaring overhead, followed by thousands of arrows being unleashed from both forces as the armies moved forward. The battle waged for hours, with no force noticeably holding the upper hand, while the Gods Hades and Zeus watched together from a mountaintop overlooking the conflict. Thousands of men were battling below, battling one another for what they believed was right. Just after midday was when the Trojan Prince Hector fell in combat to the spear of a Spartan hoplite. Seeing their leader fall in combat encouraged the Trojans to reorganize under the command of Achilles who was still leading the attack. The battle continued for several hours more with only a few hundred soldiers remaining on either side as they both pushed forward.
At this point the two Gods overlooking the battle realized neither would truly be victorious this day and that they had simply both sacrificed thousands of men for no true cause. Hades saw no issue with this occurring, while Zeus on the other hand vowed to prevent such a senseless war from occurring again under his leadership. By the end of the day both Achilles and Prometheus had perished on the field of battle, with only a few dozen remaining alive. There was no true winner this day, only losers, and one God with a new resolution to protect those on Earth more than ever before. Zeus struck his brother down and trapped him in the depths of the Underworld, himself returning to Mount Olympus to overlook humanity and prevent such a conflict from occurring again.
Bibliography: Homer's Iliad (retold by A. J. Church)
Author's Note
I took several characters and the region depicted in the epic poem by Homer know as the Iliad as the basis for my story. Homer's Iliad describes a story when neither side truly comes away victorious in the end, rather both leave the story having lost more than is won in the end with thousands of lives changed forever due to the conflict described. It is still debated whether or not the city of Troy ever existed, or even if this battle could have possibly occurred during this time period. The story has become a popular epic poem for thousands of years and has been the basis for countless other retellings, sequels, or theories. Other than Hector and Achilles this is a story of my creation, forming a story of useless slaughter to show the futility of man and their willingness to go forth into the unknown, simply following the commands of another who they respect and revere. The story is set on the island of Santorini which is located in the South Aegean Sea. Over two days I read the poem and took notes from the reading to use here in my own writing, whether it transitioned well I am unsure of, only time will tell when I revisit this writing in the weeks to come.
I like how you changed the story up! I thought that there was way too much killing that was pointless so I like how you made it into a bigger picture to make it seem that it wasn't so pointless. I thought it was interesting that the gods played such large role in the original story. I do believe it transitioned well you could have elaborated on the ending a little more on how Zeus struck his brother down. All and all I like it a lot!
ReplyDeleteHi Cole! I like that you chose to expand on this story, because the characters and places are fairly well-known, so it is easy to follow and understand. I think it's interesting how you sort of filled in the blanks in the story. I wonder how this story could have been told if it was in first person? I think that the story would have been made a little more interesting if there was some thought processes and some conversation to supplement the story. How could the story be split up to make it be more readable? I think that splitting the story up into different parts or splitting it up into different paragraphs would also make the story more easy to read. What role does the violence play in the original story? I think it's interesting that you took it out for your story, I think it gives the story a complete different feel/vibe.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story! It was very detailed and creative. I also like that you pretty much wrote this story from scratch only using the character from the original story as inspiration for this one. I like how thorough you were with the poem in that you took notes and read the poem over a two-day period. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Cole, I think you did a pretty good job with this story. I’ve never read the original story, because to be quite honest I wasn’t interested in reading it. I’m not a fan of war and conflict stories because I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and war stories usually tend to really tug at the heart strings. So, I just avoid them, with a few exceptions.
ReplyDeleteI thought you did a great job of setting the scene in your story. I was able to really see what you were describing without much effort. Since I haven’t read the original story, I can’t really comment on how well your story morphs the original into something uniquely yours but I feel like you did a good job of summarizing the story.
I think it might flow a little more easily if you work on using pronouns in place of names to help alleviate some repetition from your story. For instance, there are several sentences in the first couple of paragraphs where you say “Zeus”. You could replace some of those with “he” or “him” or something like a descriptive of him, like “this almighty god” or something of the sort. It seems like you started to do that a little more towards the end and I feel like the story went a little more smoothly at that point.
Overall, I think your story is inventive and flows pretty well though!
I think you chose a good way of going about what you wanted to do—showing the futile nature of the war. You ended up with an interesting take on different Greek gods and heroes, and what I see as commentary on the Iliad.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest moments of interest for me were when Hades, Zeus, and Apollo chose their respective champions and summoned them. In general, my favorite parts were the ones where the gods interacted with each other and the mortals. It was cool to watch them build up their plans just to see them crumble in a useless conflict by the end.
Finally, one thing I think would help to characterize all the characters in this story: what if you added a bit of dialogue between Zeus and Apollo, Hades and Prometheus, Apollo and Hector, Zeus and Achilles, etc.? It wouldn’t take entire conversations, but it would be interesting to see the nature of their interactions and it would help the reader to get a feel for what each character was like.
Great story! I hope you keep going and do more theme-centered stories.
I liked your retelling! At first I was confused because I knew the original Trojan War story with Helen and everything, but I liked the way you changed it so it wasn't just about a woman, but more about two sides in a war. I kind of wished your story had more dialogue and character descriptions, though. It reads more like a textbook almost to me, but it's not bad! The more dry tone kind of suits the bleak story topic, but I do think some dialogue especially would help spruce up the story. I really liked the end too! Your message that war doesn't really change anything and only contributes to needless slaughter is conveyed very clearly and I like the idea that that's why Hades is cast down. I also really liked the picture you chose and how you used correct historical terms like "hoplite"; nice attention to detail! Overall, great story and can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your retelling of this story, Cole. I thought it was a great idea to go into detail how both Zeus and Hades ended up acquiring their allies. It was like you could distinctly tell the difference between both sides, with one being good and the other evil. I wonder how the story would've turned out if you told it in first person, either from Hades' or Zeus' point of view. Even telling the story from Achilles' point of view would be something to consider to add more depth to your story. What if you also considered adding dialogue to your story? That way, you could better describe the interaction, emotions, and tension between the two sides in the war. It would be interesting to see what Hades and Zeus have to say about each other! Lastly, I would suggest breaking your paragraphs into smaller sections, just to make it a little easier to read. Other than that, your story content is great and I think you're off to a great start. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHey Cole I really liked your take on Homer’s Iliad. I too read this epic and really enjoyed the interactions between the Gods and immortals. I liked how each God went to a single immortal in order to fight for their cause. I thought you did a great job describing the battle scene. I could almost picture the eagle flying overhead with the darkness of the arrows coming down towards the warriors. When I read the story I sort of felt that the Trojans lost the war, but looking back on it I agree that no one really won. I am glad that you took that same approach and had almost everyone lose in battle. This really set up Zeus’ decision to never have war again.
ReplyDeleteI do agree with Taylor that a little dialogue would go a long way for the Gods. If Zeus and Hades had conversations between the two it may really allow for the reader to understand the war better. This would also allow for the paragraphs to be broken up a little bit.
Overall a great story and take on the original Iliad!
I enjoyed how you inserted the gods into the lives of the famous men from history. I was interested in how you were going to continue your story. There were times where I felt I was reading a history book, and I mean that as a compliment. I think it fits with your writing style which is very straightforward. I also enjoyed how no one side technically won, I think this applies to human history as well because if you look at numbers of losses neither side really wins. Kudos to working that into your story whether that was by accident or not.
ReplyDeleteI knew the characters of your story before reading it, but there might be issues for some people who do not know the backstories for these characters (Hector and Achilles). I would suggest adding one-liners that indicate how important/famous they are for the story.
I also had issues imagining the setting for your piece, so I would work on the imagery.
Overall it was a good story, I look forward to reading more of your work.
Hey Cole,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy your story for this week! It felt like a history lesson! I know that the story didn’t actually happen that way, but the way in which you portrayed it, and the tone of the story, made it sound like a story in a textbook. That’s not a bad thing by the way!! There was one sentence that I found a grammatical error in. You just need to take the word “the” out of the sentence and it will be good. The sentence is: “Upon seeing this destruction consuming the Greece and learning it is due to….” which is in the second paragraph towards the top. I don’t know if it really matters much, but I would suggest splitting your paragraphs up into smaller ones. It just makes it a bit easier to read it, and it’s a less overwhelming when you first look at your story. There wasn’t much else I could find that needed to be fixed. Overall it was well written.
Hey Cole! I really enjoyed reading your story over your interpretation of Homer's Iliad! I really like Greek mythology, but I don't like stories about war and death, but by the end, I was so drawn in by your story that I couldn't stop reading. I liked how you showed that the men would willingly give up their lives to fight for a person they hold high respect for, the gods. It goes to show how others can so easily influence others. I liked how at the end Zeus realized the war was pointless and just a waste of lives. I also like that he vows to be more protective of humans from this point onward. I like how Hades ended up in the underworld because Zeus makes him go there to prevent more wars among the humans. Where was Hades before this? Is this how the brothers ended up in their respective roles as we know them now? Zeus in the skies and Hades in the underworld?
ReplyDeleteNicely done! I liked how you describe the gods' roles; even though we know what they do in the Iliad, you expanded on that and made it a bit easier to understand their involvement. Honestly, I liked the Iliad but it was hard for me to follow.
ReplyDeleteYou described the characters well, along with their actions. I enjoyed reading what they did before the war and then finally what they did during the actual war; the imagery for the fighting was nicely written. I loved that the gods realized that the whole war was pointless; obviously, it would have been better if they realized beforehand, but the fact that they realized how many lives were wasted kind of gave a sense of their weakness. Since they're gods, they're powerful and usually seen as wise; however, in your story, I felt that you made them a bit more human by allowing them to realize their mistake.
A small suggestion-- it would be nice if you could break the story into more paragraphs! It's a little overwhelming at first glance to see all the text together.
Good job!
As someone with an older brother, the idea of a sibling between gods is both extremely exciting and absolutely terrifying! I can only imagine what could have happened before this final wager between the two of them. You did a really good job carrying this tension between the siblings throughout the story.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I was left wondering what kind of interactions Zeus and Hades would have had before and after this battle and during the time leading up to it. Also, why did Hades outright refuse to help Prometheus when he was asked? Does he just hate humans that much, or just not care at all? If so, why?
What if the story were more like a chess match between the two gods? Each god could gather their forces and have direct counters to the other god’s moves. That could add more of a personal element to the story, which it somewhat lacked. You have a really good story and I can’t wait to see where it could go.
Hi Cole! Though I haven't read the story/poem your version was very well depicted! I enjoyed the story-telling aspect and that in the end neither of the brothers were winners. Having siblings myself, I can understand fighting over something senseless and not coming out of it feeling great, but in the end coming out of it a better person after realizing how the fight could've been prevented or handled.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering what you meant in this sentence "Apollo agreed to help Zeus, hoping to Hades overtaking the other Gods" if they were just going to prevent Hades from taking over the Gods?
Overall the story was great, though there could have been a change in the way you had said 'field of battle' in paragraph 4 (I believe) to just 'battlefield' like you did after in another paragraph. Strange knit-pick but it sounded odd in a funny way. Also, the narration/story-telling aspect was great for this type of story, but it would've been great to see it in action, more so in a sense with added dialogue within the interactions that you expressed. Though it was a great story, great job!
Hi Cole,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a really good job expanding on the original story. The rivalry you depicted was very realistic and definitely believable. I only have one sibling, and we rarely ever fight, but I could definitely still imagine this fight between the brothers taking place. I wonder, though, if adding some dialogue to the story might help bring it to life even more? I think you have a really goo start with the narrative dialogue, but it would be even better with some dialogue, and I think it would help break up the story too, which would make it easier to read. Overall, I can tell you have a really good grasp of the original story, and the re-telling is very fluid and contains a lot of the original themes. You did a good job with the characters too, they are well developed and descriptive. Adding a little dialogue would definitely help bring them to life even more!
Cole,
ReplyDeleteWow…you did such an awesome job elaborating and keeping true to the original story. You also seemed to be having a lot of fun with it which is great and the whole point of the class. So great job there and congrats on a great addition to your portfolio.
I wonder…if there should be more elaboration on the senseless violence. I think that a key construct in this story and would be really helpful to understand more of the senseless war. However I did like how you did not focus too heavily on the senseless killings in this story so maybe reach for a good balance between the two.
What if…you kept going at the ending and definitely do more of these themes stories! You are a talented writer and seem as if you are getting better as the semester progresses so this is a great thing for you and I’m happy to have read your portfolio.
First off, I love your title. I love the word/place Santorini. It makes me think of an island far,far away with a warm beach at sunset. Anyway, I enjoyed your story overall. I like how you keep the names of the myth gods the same, as I think renaming them could have been confusing for a reader with so many new gods and personalities and powers. I would recommend adding dialogue to your story. Although this story isn't boring by any means, I think I would be able to follow and enjoy it even more with dialogue. But you have great character development, but again, dialogue would have helped with development of the characters even further. I'm always glad when Zeus wins the battles. For some reason I have always been #TeamZeus! I also like the picture you found to include! Nice job with this story. I look forward to reading more of what you write in the future.
ReplyDelete